A Very Cold Night! Especially for the Homeless

 I sit here tonight in my warm house, listening to the wind blow just outside my window. I know quite well, it’s cold out there. Just before settling in to write this blog, I looked at the thermometer, which reads a negative 4 degrees!

Now I sit here typing as I listen to the wind. I can’t help but think of the people that may be out on the street. I don’t mean people that are out for an evening of frolic and fun. I’m thinking of the homeless right now. I can’t help but worry about those that have no shelter when the weather is like this. If you think about those who are cold tonight if you put yourself in their shoes…

I pull the thin parka around me as my muscles tense up, my body’s reaction to the cold. My jaw gets tight as I try to keep my teeth from chattering while the wind whips through the street. It creeps in behind my neck, forcing its way down my back. I reach up and lift the collar of the coat, stretching it to reach my exposed ears as the cold air burns through my flesh. I’m torn between protecting my cold ears with the jacket and the desire to push my hands deep into the pockets to keep them warm. It’s no use. There is no relief. The cold is too much.

I continue walking, hoping to find shelter from the cold wind. My face is burning now from the cold air. My nose is running. I reach up to wipe away what has dripped off the tip of my nose. I have to laugh as I realize ice has collected just there. I keep going if for no other reason than to keep my blood moving. If I don’t stand still, if I keep walking, my blood will continue to work its way through my body, keeping me, well not warm, but alive. I turn as the passing car interrupts my thoughts. They don’t even notice me. They look right through me as if I’m not standing here freezing. I’m not surprised. I see that all the time.

I’ve now reached the alley I’m hoping will at least shelter me from the wind. I lean against the brick as I slide down that wall and sit, curled up, hoping I can produce enough heat to keep my blood moving. My teeth are chattering again. My joints are getting stiff. Maybe I shouldn’t sit still.

I’m really tired. I need to rest for a little while; then, I’ll get up and move around some. I sit quietly with my thin jacket wrapped tightly around me. I can hear the noise of the night floating away. I can see my breath, so I must still be alive. It’s getting colder. I’m so tired. My eyelids are getting heavy. I force them open and look around one more time.

I see no one; I only hear voices as they slowly drift off into the night.

My feet are tingling. Maybe it’s warming up. My neck hurts, I need to straighten up. Instead, I lean over and lay down, curling up tighter into a ball. I think my breathing is getting shallow. No, I’m just tired. I can’t stay awake; I don’t want to stay awake. If I sleep, I won’t feel the cold. I don’t want to be cold anymore. I’ll rest for a while. It’s okay, just for a few min….

The image above is the life of a young girl freezing in an alley. Will she wake up and walk to stay alive? Or will she freeze there curled up in a ball against that brick wall? You won’t know because this is where the vision ends.

Her story is the story of many homeless people in this country that fight to stay alive during the long winter months. Each of singularly may not be able to do away with the reality that is portrayed in this short vision. But collectively, we can make a difference.

Please take a few minutes this winter to locate a shelter in your area and donate what you can to help those in need of a warm place to stay during the frigid winter months.

Sandbox

When my girls were children they spent hours outside. Usually playing in the sandbox under the swing set, I built for them. I often think about those simple days gone by. This poem was a way to remember the good old days.

Sand Box

I look out my back window

At where you used to play

I smile as I remember

All the sunny days

I recall your laughter

As I’d sit and watch you play

In the sandbox that I built for you

Where you’d want to spend the day

At times the sand became a tower

And then it would be gone

Only to become a creation

That came from your precious mind

No matter what you built or made

I loved to watch you play

In the sandbox that I built for you

Those were special days

You’ve since grown up

And moved away

But the memories they remain

The sandbox that I built for you

Will never be the same

What Happened to the Dream?

Watch as Martin Luther King Jr, stands and speaks peacefully to the masses. The speech, broadcast during a time of civil disobedience, a time of upheaval and inequality, not only by color but by creed and gender. Look into the crowd of people who stand and listen peacefully.

“Let freedom ring,” he says.

He is a man who had a message. He got his message across by peacefully addressing the crowd. In earlier times, police arrested him in his protesting efforts; however, it was when he gathered peacefully in our Nation’s Capitol to share his vision for our country that the people heard him!

He had a dream rooted in the American dream.

“One day this nation will rise and live out the true meaning of its dream ‘we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’”

He stood in front of the monument of President Lincoln that only days prior protester defiled for what it represents, I’m sure he chose that spot because of the message President Lincoln tried to communicate many years earlier, one of which he quoted.  

He had a dream that the content of their character, not the color of their skin, would judge people. Today people protest and defile the monuments and statues that represent our history. A history that our forefathers suffered, so we could grow into the country we were so close to becoming.

What does that say about the character of those that spread such hate?      

We are living in a time of great disrespect, not only for one another but our history. You can’t erase history by removing the evidence of what occurred. In removing and defiling and denying, we only prolong the inevitable.

Turn your back on what was, and it will be again.

Hate and dissension will rear its ugly head. It will fester and infect our society and cause the dis-ease of what we are trying to eradicate. People protest in the name of peace and equality, yet they project and infect the country with hate. Hate does not encourage dialog; it causes the human mind to shut down to reason; it breeds more hatred. If people think by removing our countries monuments, it will cause people to change their views; I believe they are nieve. Here is an example. I use it because it has been in our faces for weeks. If we remove Confederate monuments, does that change history? Does that negate the struggle? Does it remove the lesson learned? Removing the statue does not change the story.

Did the Romans remove the Colosseum because of what it represented, the inhumane treatment of both man and animal? No. They left it as a reminder of what went on. They left it so that generations to come could tell the story and remember what not to do or how to behave.  

By removing the monuments in the South, does it remove the Confederate conflict? If so, it must also remove the struggle experienced by the slave? Do we so want to disrespect the suffering on both sides?    

In this lesson, I think we are failing to remember something. Behind the monuments are men, women, children, families, and communities. Each one suffered in their way. Each one had an experience that was not conducive to love or kindness or fairness.

They continued to live. Our forefathers erected monuments to remember what happened and to facilitate healing. Just because a man fought for slavery, doesn’t mean he believed in it. Men fight for their state or country. When they go to war, they go because their government calls them. They go because they respect their state and want to be obedient.

It isn’t always a personal preference. By erecting monuments, they are offering respect for those that fought and died as human beings. They are mourning the loss of human life.

Remember… All lives matter. Take it down to a personal level. Every human being suffers and deserves to heal. We need to come together as a country as one people. The world is watching us. We, who once was a great example to the world, have become a joke. We no longer deserve the respect we once had. If we can’t play nice in the sand, how can we expect the rest of the world to do so?  

I Am Arjuna – Bhagavad Gita

I am Arjuna. I am he, who’s called to fight. To kill. To liberate.

The image that stares back at me is fighting with she who studies that body, that spirit, that soul. The soul that signed the contract that would teach her who she truly is.

My dark night of the soul pulls me into the depth of my inner self. It struggles with the lives I have lived in this one lifetime. My soul now calls me to see myself, not as the flesh and blood that walks the earth today. But to see my divine nature.

I am now called to the struggle between life and death. No, not suicide. I am called to awaken. It is time to see my soul self and be that which the creator created me to be.

Love.

I am Arjuna. I am he, who listens to the teacher.

When I study the image of the face looking back at me, I stare into the eyes that are the window to the soul.

I am called to fight, yet I love. How can I destroy that which I have become comfortable with, that which I have grown to know so intimately.

The struggles I’ve lived with and survived, are now part of me. I cling to them as a drowning person would cling to the life vest. It is all I know.

I am Arjuna. I am he, the brave warrior.

I am called to face my fears. To stare down that which challenges me. That which stirs within me, the ultimate fight or flight nature.

The longer I stand in front of the image, the greater the need to know the truth.

I am love, yet I am called by the inner stirring to fight. I now fight for the love that is buried deep within, waiting to be rescued.

I long to breathe the fresh air and feel the warmth of the sun shining on my face. I long to be released from the prison of which I place myself. It is time to be released from the dark night that has held me in a state of nothingness.

I am Arjuna. I am he who rejoices in the light.

Darkness recedes as the light fills my soul. Beckoning me to shine, a light so bright it lights up the world.

I am the expression of my soul. My true divine self has risen and continues to shine bringing forth a love so great it will never be contained.

I am Arjuna.

We are all Arjuna.

A Love That Stands the Test of Time

Each of us, in our lives at some point, suffer the loss of a loved one. It’s never an easy path to walk.
It is said, the heart wants what the heart wants. The heart may want what it wants, but it doesn’t always get what it wants. Or, if it does, it can be fleeting.
Love is a deep feeling of the heart, not one that can easily be forgotten or released. Over time it may find a comfortable place deep within where it settles into a rhythm of what might have been.
Sometimes love isn’t lost; it just finds itself taking a detour. Giving the feeling a time to mature or grow or maybe find its way back to what should have been.
Other times it seems to come late in life when the noise of the world has settled, and distraction is set aside. Love comes when the time is right.
The heart may want what it wants, but love knows when it’s time for the heart to swell with the passion that brings two souls together.
Sometimes those souls connect for a moment in time, bringing joy, happiness, peace, contentment, and a deep love that is beyond the space of time.
Then it is gone. But is it?
No.
It is that love that stands the test of time. It stands the test of that which is outside of space and time. It is what we call eternity. Love beats deep in the heart right through the soul of eternity.
When you lose a lover in this life, you should know that in that place outside space and time, the heart still swells with the passion that keeps you and your soulmate together.
Tonight, I think about a dear friend who recently lost what I believe is what I describe above. I hope you will find comfort in the words that cannot begin to make up or replace the gentle, loving heartbeat of that missing space in this lifetime.
I hope you can find peace in your memories.

Photo by Suresh Kumar on Unsplash

A Storm is Brewing

This morning I turned on my computer and stepped away for a moment while the programs loaded. When I returned good, old Windows 10 had once again given me an image to contemplate. Maybe it’s a sign.

I wasn’t sure what I would write about, but when I saw the image in front of me, it became clear. I saw before me nature unfolding dramatically. I saw in the distant a storm brewing. The clouds were accumulating; gathering as if preparing a scheme, planning its attack. As the clouds became darker and darker, the rumble began. The orchestra of sound was escalating and bringing to life the air that had become stagnant. The change became more than clear as the lightning struck the rocks below.

The clouds rolled in faster and faster, and the sky grew dark, and the rains fell. The pitter-patter of rain slowly became a pounding that drowned out the sounds of the birds as they scattered to find a haven from the storm. The lightning followed by the booming crash of thunder that resonated across the sky; the vibration absorbed by the earth below.
As I studied the image, a thought came to my mind. This scene that played out in front of me was so similar to the life we are experiencing today. As we sit back and study, the course of recent time we see the parallel between the storm in the sky and what we are living through right now. Stormy energy has been brewing for a long time. Humanity is about to unleash its wrath just as the lightning emitted in the sky. The booming anger of humanity is drowning out the beautiful sounds of nature. We can’t see the forest through the trees because we have become so focused on negative energy we can’t let our guard down and let in the light.
What a comparison. Think about it. As the clouds accumulate and absorb the negative energy; humankind is absorbing all the surrounding negativity. Negativity begets negativity. It grows like a plague unleashing itself on society and kills the kindness we have been ignoring. The storm in the sky unleashed on the earth, and we have natural catastrophes all over the globe. On a human level, we are doing the same thing. We have unleashed the negativity on each other, and there is very little peace.

I believe the calm before the storm is long gone now. We are amid a storm that is out of control. Maybe if we change our energy, it will affect the surrounding energy. We as humans have a responsibility to love and protect. We have forgotten that as we sling negativity at one another. Maybe it’s time the tides turn. If nature can do it, we can as well.

Photo by Max LaRochelle on Unsplash

The War Within – Operation Mind Crime – Book I

The War Within was supposed to be a a romance novel. I started writing the novel and found the more I wrote, the more research I needed to do, to make sure I was being accurate in my portrayal of time.

What started out as a romance, ended being what I consider historical fiction with a twist of suspense. That’s quite a leap. Why you say?

Well, the more research I did, the more I kept running into terms like MK Ultra and Operation Paperclip. When I looked at the riots that occurred, I began to wonder if the CIA had anything to do with behavior that prior to the sixties was unheard of. So I dug deeper.

Katherine was a new mother who’s husband died in Vietnam. Death is a life changing event, one that sent Katherine back to work at the local University . Where she stumbled upon the program that we know as MK-ULTRA.

The Church Commission supposedly investigated programs such as MK-Ultra and Operation Mockingbird. In the end the people were lied to and told such programs were no longer operational. I think we know different. Or do we?

The War Within is not only the struggle for mankind to survive the scourges of war, but it also looks at the inner struggle we all face when we realize the ravages of evil really do exist in the dark recesses of space and time.

I continue to research the topic of MKULTRA and other programs that I’ve been told are conspiracy theories. When you read The War Within you can decide.

A New Journey

I step into the arena of a new existence. The path in front of me is vast, with many twists and turns. It’s a road that leads to nowhere and everywhere. Adventure awaits. Walk with me as I step into the land of the living and dead. Journey with me to a time where truth, lies, love, hate, and suspense each touch the heart, mind, and soul. Let me tell you a story about…